In a fixture that blended friendly rivalry with both on- and off-pitch shenanigans, Farnham L'Escargot travelled to Old Alleynians 'DOGS' - that's Dulwich Old Gits, for the uninitiated - for their annual veterans tussle, now gracing its fourth season. With three former Old Alleynians players turning out for Farnham, the stage was set for a match rich in both camaraderie and competitive edge.

Old Alleynians were first to add to the scoreboard, executing wave after wave of skilful attacks that left Farnham's defence in disarray, and it looked like it was going to be a tough day at the office for L’Escargot. However, sparked by electrifying runs from Young and Healy down the wings, Farnham gained valuable territory. An excellent piece of rucking won them a penalty, and Hartley miraculously managed to not knock the ball on for once - dotting down after a bullish carry by the ever-dynamic Melia.

The 'DOGS' weren't content to roll over, though, and struck back before the half-time whistle, leaving Farnham trailing at the break. The first half had seen L'Escargot's long-term quest for 'authority' (our Bishop’s Mitre insignia being a symbol of authority) somewhat lacking - possibly left in the changing room along with the half-time oranges.

However, after a ladle of port at half time (a charming Old Alleynian tradition), Farnham emerged for the second half looking like a different side. The team clicked, the forwards worked their collective behinds off at the coalface, and the backs made sure the tries flowed as freely as the post-match beers would later. Even the French referee was won over. Almost.

Marren, Purnell, Bird, Healy, Hare, and the obliging Hewitt - roped in by Young for the day's endeavours - all crossed the whitewash with tries that could be described as nothing short of sumptuous. Bird added a series of extras from the kicking tee, polishing the final score, but Old Alleynians managed a solitary consolation try at the death - perhaps a gentle reminder that old DOGS can still learn new tricks.

In a match brimming with outstanding performances, the Man of the Match award was as hotly contested as the game itself. Honourable mentions go to Hare, Bird, and Young for their standout contributions. Yet, it was Melia who earned the accolade, his industrious and dynamic play on both sides of the ball proving invaluable.

The 'third half' was a decidedly more relaxed affair. Friendships were rekindled over beers and generous ladles of port in the beautiful London sunshine at Old Alleynians' picturesque ground. Drinking dice were rolled and foolhardily stolen. And Farnham start the season with the comforting knowledge that when they choose to exert themselves, they possess both the talent and drive to play with genuine authority. Long may that continue.