The tour's crowning jewel was a match against Bucharest's very own "Dracula Rugby Veterans". On paper, it was a clash of the titans; in reality, a reminder that while experience is valuable, so is the ability to run without wheezing.

The Dracula Rugby Veterans, sporting an average age of 1,327 years, displayed the spryness of lads one thirtieth their age, trouncing L'Escargot 40-15. It appears eternal youth does have its perks, especially when the visiting team's idea of a warm-up is finding out how many heartburn tablets they can safely eat.

After the match, however, the Dracula Rugby Veterans really came into their own, hosting a ‘fangtastic’ meal at a lovely restaurant, with traditional folk music, traditional rugby songs, and of more concern, palinka - a potent plum brandy that really should be left to the experts!

When not being chased around the pitch by sprightly bloodsuckers, L'Escargot indulged in a cultural exploration of Bucharest. A visit to the Palace of the Parliament offered a glimpse into the tragic past of the country and Ceausescu's delusions. Perhaps not the cheeriest of visits with a hangover.

A day trip to Europe's largest spa might have seemed a good idea until we found out we had all packed matching budgie smugglers, and it had a swim-up bar. In the end it was more about retoxing than detoxing, with strategically hiddenbubbles trying to mask the evidence of too much indulgence in Romania's culinary delights.

In summary, L'Escargot's tour was less about bringing home a trophy and more about taking home memories of hearty meals, hearty laughs, and the haunting realisation that Dracula isn't the only one in Romania who knows a thing or two about sinking his teeth into something with gusto. We may not have returned as champions, but we're undefeated in tales of the unexpected and eating our own bodyweight in slow-cooked meats.

The adventure was a resounding success, with laughs a plenty, new friendships made, and cultural barriers broken - or at least, that's what we'll keep telling ourselves.